When fellow wedding supplier Sarah (Elsa Rose Boutique), wrote a piece all about her experience working with me on a bespoke (non-wedding related) ring, I reached out and asked her if I could share her words in an article of my own – hearing someone’s else’s experience brings it alive!
In her article, Sarah so elegantly and beautifully describes the process we went through to design a ring in memory of her father to show the value behind custom made pieces. This value comes not only in the form of intrinsic value, but most importantly in experience, memories, and often a cathartic process that can feel like therapy.
So grab a cuppa and read Sarah’s account of our time working together and the end results.
“My story is about a piece of jewellery I had commissioned in memory of my dad, who passed away last year, a couple of months before my 40th birthday. He’d left me some money, so I decided that this piece of jewellery would be his final gift to me.
I’d been thinking of buying a moss agate ring for a while, but had been on the fence about actually getting one as a) I had no idea if the stones I was seeing on the rings online were genuine or ethically sourced and b) I don’t tend to wear many rings, so it seemed like a frivolous purchase.
I was sat in a café waiting for my son to come out of an appointment when it occurred to me I now had “permission,” or at least a reason, to buy one, and I instantly knew it wasn’t going to be any old ring that I’d seen online.
I’d followed Jodie Gearing on Instagram for a while as we’d both collaborated with a company called Wedding Espresso. I decided to reach out to her to see if she could help me design something unique and I was so glad I did!
We met on Zoom and I told her about being drawn to moss agate, how green was one of my favourite colours and how, when I thought about the link to dad, it reminded me of him driving me through the trees near Tintern Abbey, one of my happy places.
I told Jodie how I’d been drawn to the number seven after dad died: it was everywhere – on car number plates, clocks, significant dates…once the number 7 was imprinted in my brain, I found myself adding up numbers to a single digit and they were all coming to 7. My date of birth, wedding date and the date and time of dad’s death all added up to 7 and, whether or not you believe in signs, this gave me some comfort as dad was a mathematician and I think he would have liked watching me reducing the mileage on my dashboard to a single digit. Or he might have thought I was a bit of an idiot…I’m going to believe it was the former!
So the number seven was going to be featured somewhere and we decided to stick to shades of green in the ring to remind me of the trees we used to drive through together.
I was really touched when Jodie suggested including a Peridot for my dad and an Alexandrite for me as these were our birth stones. I chose the smallest Alexandrite not only to keep within my budget, but to contrast the larger Peridot to reflect the relationship of father and daughter.
Each design that Jodie put together for me was incredible and I was blown away by the options she gave me. Each one featured seven stones, which I loved.
I decided on an asymmetric design with a large teardrop shaped moss agate, with an Emerald and a Tourmaline set to one side, and the Peridot, Alexandrite, Green Amethyst and Green Sapphire set to the other.
I love looking into the healing properties behind gemstones and these all centred around well-being, good fortune and success, things that I felt I really needed in that moment.
Jodie took me with her through every step of the process, and I loved being part of it. She selected a range of moss agates and I got to choose my favourite – one with strong veins in to represent the roots and branches of trees but also reminiscent of a storm – my dad and I had a fair few arguments through his life so it felt fitting to reflect that too.
I even got to choose which size stones and I could change where they sat on the ring if I wanted to, but Jodie had arranged everything so beautifully on the ring that I didn’t want to change a thing.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because bespoke items are an investment and an experience you won’t fully understand until you take the leap and go for it. It also taught me the value of what I offer as an accessory designer and showed me the other side of the experience.
Here’s what I noticed:
• I had no hesitations making this investment. I trusted Jodie and I had the money available to do it, but I realised afterwards that I never questioned the cost of my ring. Instead, I was so invested in the journey we went on together, seeing how she transformed some vague ideas into something I wear on my finger every day.
• The experience was really memorable: I’ve worn this ring daily for over a year and I still think about the designs Jodie drew up for me, our conversations about the different stones and choosing that moss agate.
• I wasn’t prepared for how emotional I’d feel when I finally got to see and hold the finished piece – it’s really something to see something transform from a design on paper to something solid that you can hold.
• I chose every detail: I will wear this ring forever; I’m not sure I would have done the same with one that was mass produced
• If I’d wanted to spend less, I could have and if I’d wanted to spend more, I could have done that too – bespoke options are designed to fit around you and your budget and don’t always have to cost the earth.
That’s the thing about bespoke; the experience sounds expensive but, in reality, you get far more than what you pay for.
You get something that is truly unique, built around you and that tells a story. It’s far more special than buying something off the shelf that everyone else has a variant of.
I’m sharing this with you in the hope that, if you’ve been considering having something custom-made for your wedding, you’ll feel a little braver taking the next step.
It may be your dress, a decorative feature, a headpiece or piece of jewellery. Whatever it is, I want you to know that it’s a safe investment when you find someone whose work you love and who you connect with.
Social media is one way to connect with your suppliers, but check out their websites and blogs and see if you resonate with their content. Make the most of free consultations as they give you the opportunity to ask questions and see if the supplier is a good fit for you before you work with them.”
It can be hard to imagine and appreciate the experience if you have never gone through it yourself. You may have some reservations or questions about going bespoke, whether that is for a kitchen, a dress, piece of jewellery, or anything else where you may work with a designer on something unique. This ‘fear’ can be a stumbling block for so many people who then end up buying a ‘best fit’ option from the high street instead. Whilst you may be happy with the ‘thing’, you won’t have had the same experience, and perhaps there will be elements you are not 100% happy with.
When I am marketing my services on social media, in press, or at networking events or wedding shows, what I aim to get across is exactly what Sarah describes – it is about more than just the ‘thing’ – it is an experience and a process to be relished and enjoyed.
I hope this might give you the confidence you need to consider bespoke for your next project.
Sarah creates beautiful beaded bridal head pieces and jewellery, and although she has many stunning made to order designs, she also crafts one off bespoke items for her brides too. Make sure to check her work out, give her a follow on her socials, and share her work with someone planning their wedding.