So you’ve decided to pop the question – but then the fear seeps in… how on earth are you going to find a ring a) that fits perfectly, and even more scarily, b) that they like?!
Is the fear of picking out the perfect ring putting your proposal on hold? In this article I am going to discuss several alternative proposal ideas to inspire you with your romantic gesture and hopefully remove some of the associated stress. Because let’s face it, getting down on one knee can be pretty daunting!
What I am suggesting is a proposal without the engagement ring.
I know this goes against the grain of tradition, but with so much choice out there, how on earth are you supposed to get it right? Most people have a strong sense of their own style will usually have a clear idea of the sort of engagement ring they would like.
I am fairly sure I can speak for the majority of people that it would be interpreted as an incredibly romantic gesture that you would want the ring’s recipient to be involved in choosing the ring they’ll be wearing for the rest of their lives!
The key counter argument against this method of proposing is the idea that the engagement ring will serve as a reminder of the proposal moment forever. But if it doesn’t fit, or if it’s not right… wouldn’t it tarnish the moment slightly? Your fiancé would feel terrible admitting they didn’t like the ring that you had painstakingly chosen for them.
It’s a minefield out there
There’s a whole host of issues to be addressed when choosing a surprise engagement ring.
Let’s begin with the fact that you want your choice of ring to demonstrate how well you understand their style. You may start rifling through their jewellery box to really understand what they wears. But please bear in mind that this is a ring they will want to wear every day for the rest of their life, so maybe those chunky dress rings aren’t a true indication of their style? A lot of people tend to opt for more traditional or classic engagement rings in comparison to the rest of their jewellery as they want it to suit them for their whole lifetime.
Coloured gemstone or diamond? Lab grown or earth mined? Gold or platinum? Wedding ring friendly or low profile? Claw set or bezel? Unless your partner has left strong hints, or sent you a Pinterest board of rings they like, you have to make all these decisions on their behalf. Here is just a tiny selection of engagement rings to demonstrate the complex range of decisions that has to be made:
Let’s not even get into the issue of finding out their ring size without arousing suspicion…
So how about this for an idea…
Propose with something else that your fiancé can keep, treasure and show all their friends and family before you go together to choose a ring you both like!
Read on for some ideas on how the engagement ring-less proposal can work:
1. Propose With a Placeholder Ring
She will have a ring she can wear until she gets the real thing and will have it as a permanent memento of the proposal that she can wear on her other hand should she wish.
I have designed my latest made to order piece with this in mind:
This 2mm wide silver band hand engraved with the Latin phrase “Sum Signum Amoris” meaning ‘I am a token of love’ in my signature lettering style. It is suitable for both men and women and can be made in a different width, profile if you prefer. It makes a romantic placeholder ring while you design your dream forever ring together, and be a treasured keepsake forever – perhaps worn on the right hand once you have your forever engagement ring, or converted into a pendant or other piece of jewellery.
This ring is available in size M as standard, but can be made to any size to suit. If you need help estimating your partner’s size, just let me know and I help you with this!
Find out more about this ring here.
If you prefer the ring to be a more traditional looking engagement ring, that could double up as a ‘travel ring’ in the future, I love these classic solitaire proposal rings –
The sterling silver band subtly slides inside itself at the base of the ring, this allows the ring to expand and contract to accommodate a wide range of sizes, but then retain the correct size for your partner’s finger. This approach maintains a classy aesthetic – it’s only the wearer that knows that it can be adjusted.
The kind folks at proposalring.co.uk have recommended me in their directory of independent jewellers to bring your dream engagement to life while enjoying your placeholder ring in the mean time. They have also offered JG clients a code to receive a 10% discount on the placeholder ring – use the code JODIEGEARING10 at the checkout!
2. Propose With a Different Piece of Jewellery
If you’re worried about explaining that the ring is a stand-in or don’t like the idea of a temporary ring, how about proposing with a pendant or bracelet? That way, your partner can wear it and enjoy it while you pick or design the perfect ring together.
How about my Solera pendant for the light of your world?
This pretty pendant can become an everyday pendant, or saved to be worn on your wedding day, and passed down the generations. Available in silver or gold, with moissanite or diamond to suit your budget, and with matching earrings also available.
Find out more about the Solera Pendant
Lastly, but by no means least, and in my view, the most romantic option…
3. Propose With a Sketch
Work with me to design an engagement ring for your partner, which once finalised, I will draw up as a presentation sketch or Gouache render for you to present your beloved at the proposal moment.
This can be combined with a proposal ring so they have something to wear for now, and even a gemstone intended for the finished ring that I can present in a ring box for you to present to your partner. I will soon have a beautiful JG branded walnut gemstone box that would be a beautiful addition to your proposal.
Not only do you win some serious brownie points for the time, care and thought that has gone into the design, but you are also setting the tone for your marriage by allowing your partner the opportunity to have some creative input into the design before it is committed into metal. Chances are that they will be so bowled over by your romantic gesture that they won’t change a thing, but should you have missed the mark, there is nothing lost, and you can design the ring together from scratch.
The sketch is something they can show friends and family and keep forever as a reminder of your amazing proposal!
If you’ve been inspired by any of the ideas and would like to discuss a bespoke design of your very own, or sketches for an engagement ring, do get in touch.