I get asked this all the time in design consultations with my clients. They have gotten used to wearing their engagement ring on its own, so pairing it with a second ring often brings this dilemma up! And lets face it, marriage is a traditional institution, and so people want to know what the traditional way round is, and whether there are any superstitions around the order of the rings.
Lets dig into the traditions surrounding the order that you wear your rings, different cultural ideas, and the practical options.
Tradition
Tradition states that you wear the wedding band on the bottom of the stack, and the engagement ring on top. This is because it is then closest to your heart!
This poses a minor inconvenience on your wedding day, as your engagement ring will be in the way of achieving this order. I suggest to brides that they place their engagement ring on their right hand if they can for their walk up the aisle, and switch it over to sit above their new wedding band after the vows. It’s a lovely moment to stack the rings together as you are pronounced as married!
I find this way round the most convenient in everyday life, as it means I can easily remove my engagement ring if for whatever reason I want to wear my wedding ring on its own.
You do You
I am not one of those traditional jewellers who tells you what you can and can’t have (oh the stories I have heard from my clients about their experiences elsewhere…!) I advocate that you do what feels right to you.
It is not uncommon for brides to want to wear their rings in the order they were given them, so engagement ring first, and then wedding ring on top. If this feels right to you, go for it!
Eternity Ring
Then comes the eternity or anniversary ring (if you want one!) – where does that sit? Again, I personally believe that it is your choice, and what feels right both physically and emotionally to you.
If you’ve gone for the wedding ring first with the engagement ring above, you may wish to sandwich the engagement ring between the wedding and eternity bands, or you may wish to stack them up in order with the eternity ring at the bottom, then the wedding ring, and then the engagement ring on top, so the newest ring is at the bottom, and the oldest at the top.
If you want to wear the rings in the order you have been given them, and your engagement ring is at the bottom, with the wedding ring above, you will just continue this pattern with the eternity ring on top.
Alternatives – Enhancer Wedding Rings
If you love the balance of the single engagement ring, an enhancer, or jacket, style wedding ring could be just the thing for you. The engagement ring is sandwiched between two bands for beautiful symmetry. This can act as a wedding and eternity ring all in one too! Here’s some examples of some enhancer wedding rings I have designed recently –
These both are simply made of metal to keep the engagement ring the centre of the show – the wedding rings are designed to frame and accentuate the design of the engagement ring. But you can go as sparkly as you like, like Alix’s enhancer wedding ring below, made using diamonds from a family brooch –
Enhancer style wedding rings avoid the need to move your engagement ring to another finger as you walk up the aisle too, as they slot inside the wedding ring as one. Therefore they can be placed on your finger as a set, together, in the moment you exchange your vows.
Alternatives – Combined Engagement and Wedding Rings
Why not solve the issue of multiple rings and go for a combined and engagement ring? Suzanne went for this option to keep things simple. We used stones and gold from sentimental jewellery along with some new stones in the mix to create this stunning asymmetric cluster ring that she wears as both her engagement and wedding ring –
Why do we wear engagement and wedding rings on the fourth finger of the left hand?
Legend has it that the Vena Amoris runs from that finger directly to your heart. However, the vasculature in both hands is pretty much the same, so there is not one vein that links directly to your heart, as romantic as this story is!
If we look at it practically, the majority of people are right handed, and therefore the left hand is less prone to wear and tear on any rings. The fourth finger is also protected by the little finger on the outside, and is the least ‘used’ finger, making it the practical choice for such important rings.
Of course, around the world, there are other traditions and so across a lot of Europe and some of South America, brides wear their engagement and wedding rings on their right hand instead of their left.
Personal Preference
Ultimately, you do what looks best with your set of rings. Although there is a traditional order, there are no superstitions about wearing them in an alternative order. They are your rings that symbolise your unique relationship, so don’t worry about what is tradition – you do what feels right to you.
What is your preference for the order of your rings? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.